I woke up to social media buzzing as I do every morning. Except this morning was different. Every one was talking about the death of an artist titled “Lil Peep.”
The full disclaimer before I write is that I only delved into the actions and personality of the late artist because of his untimely death, and I myself do not struggle with addiction or anything remotely similar to what must have been going on with Peep mentally.
The videos, and the photos, and the posts led me to believe that this wasn’t just another syrup sipping, pill popping teenager hoping to go viral. This was a damaged human being.
He played a show in Arizona, and my frined actually called me and asked if she should attend. I told her, “honestly I’ve never really listended to his music or know what he is about.” My first mistake was casting judgement upon another artist before I had ever even dove into his content. Time went by and I saw the news. More time went by and I saw the video. The last wave of time went by on this matter, and I finally heard the cause.
Laced Xanax. Fentanyl.
It is hard enough to imagine being in a state of comatose because of a pill, but imagining what pain he may have been trying to numb is even harder. I am open about the fact that I search for validation and not finding it brings my mood down making me feel like a burden or even worth less than the average, but I am here to admit I am a generally happy person. To see people put themselves through hell, for the sake of maybe making it out to light breaks my heart.
The first reaction to any drug over dose, is generally “how could you be so stupid?” The actual reaction should have been “how much could you have endured.”
Artists, friends, family, and readers alike, there are more outlets. DON’T MAKE BLIND ATTEMPTS TO NUMB YOUR PAIN. Reach out, there are people who feel like you, and there are people who want to take the emotion and mold it for the better.
Iron sharpens iron, so as one person sharpens another. Seek the guidance, love, and care that we all need, please whatever it takes do not default to numbing your pain with man made stimulants and quasi-solutions.
It is temporary. The help, the love, and the care that… That is forever. Mentally we all deserve to be at our best. I believe humans are inherently good, and if we see a brother or sister struggling to be their best self, and live their best life, help them. It may save their life.
Self medicating is a hard thing to wrap your head around. My only advice for someone who unfortuneatly has to deal with it is this, no one is here to judge and people are here to help.